How to Prepare Your Children fora Move

Children don't always understand the rationale for a move. They might not get that your job has transferred you or that housing conditions are better in a new city. What they do understand is that they will have to leave the comfort of the familiar behind. So, as you plan for your exciting move, make sure you prepare your children too.

Announce the Move Early

Parents sometimes think the best way to get their children prepared for the big move is to delay telling them. Obviously you know your children best, but consider giving them a heads-up as soon as you find out. When they have a lot of time to think about the situation, it too becomes familiar. Put the date on the family calendar, and count down toward moving day.

Give your kids as much information as possible. If you're moving to a new city, look up as many details as you can about the locale. Focus on places that will appeal to your kids. For instance, point out the neighborhood park or local pizza parlor. If you have photos of your new home, show the pictures to your kids, especially their proposed new room.

Let the Kids Feel Their Grief

No matter how attractive you make the new location look, your kids will likely grieve leaving their old home behind. They've probably gotten attached to their current home, so at the bare minimum, they will likely latch onto that aspect of the move.

Remember, too, that older kids will leave behind cherished friends and activities, not to mention their schools. What's more, teenage kids may be forced to leave behind a job or a romantic interest. Your children's grief has a foundation.

Honor their grief, but don't let them dwell. They may well go through the five stages of grief, which you can sympathize with. You may feel some of those emotions yourself. However, your children will look to you for guidance. They will note how you handle the stress and most likely mimic it.

Get Them Involved in the Decision-Making Process

When you announce a big move, it's just that - an announcement. Your children likely had no say on where you plan to relocate to, much less whether the move was happening at all. So, put as many decisions back in their hands as possible.

For one, your family should definitely cull belongings. Set that task for your kids. Let the directions be as open as possible so they feel that sense of control. For example, ask them which belongings they feel comfortable donating that other children might enjoy.

Likewise, tell them to list places they want to visit one last time before they leave. If possible, visit all the places as a date. The goal is to create a few more fun memories.

Encourage Your Children to Pack

You have a whole home to pack. Except in the case of very young children, your kids can help. You could make a packing date with your children. Set aside that day specifically to pack their rooms. Try to make it a fun day, say with special food treats or music while you work.

This packing date is another time that you can let your children take some control. Let them choose the colors for their box labels. If they're old enough, they can write out the labels themselves. You might even encourage them to use your phone or their own to take a photo of what's inside each box.

As the move gets closer, ask your children to pack an essentials box. Rather than essentials, though, your children should put fun items into the package. These fun items can be their favorite games, books, clothing, or non-perishable snacks. They'll have access to this box at every step of the way, even while their other belongings are on the movers' truck.